For the last while I’ve known that i’ve been going though a a bit of a dark patch spiritually. I’ve let the Lord down on a number of occasions, but i’m thankful that He has cared about me enough to disturb my conscience about it and made me remoresful.

I knew that there was something not quite right in my life, and i’d been seeking the Lord’s face to bring me closer to Himself, back to a place where i’ve been before, the place that somehow and somewhere along the line over the past few months and without realising it, I no longer was. However I was still struggling.

‘Where is that blessedness I knew, when first I saw the Lord, where is that soul refreshing view of Jesus and His word.’

Sunday 9th September, I went to church in the morning to Tyndale FPC. When i got to the church I realised it was Communion Sunday. The way we do it is that we have our normal church service, then those that are saved and wish to take Communion, stay on after the morning service for the Communion service.

The end of church came and I left … I didn’t stay for Communion as I normally would. Why? The Lord had pricked my conscience. Regarding the Lord’s Table, the Bible says that we are to ‘examine ourselves’ before the Lord and not to ‘eat and drink’ unworthily. I felt unworthy.

That Sunday evening I went along to Dungannon Independent Methodist Church. It was a special series of meetings, and the Lord really spoke to me. I needed to discover again the ‘Joy of the Lord’…knowing that this would take away any coldness from my heart. The preacher, Dr Harold Vaughn, spoke on the key to enjoying the presence of the Lord – to stop putting barriers up in your life and serve God in the ways you can, whether large or small, the Lord can use it and will Bless you.

Dr Vaughn referred to John 3:30 where it says ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’, and pointed out that it’s only by allowing God to work in and through our lives that we can fully enjoy Him. I need to get back into serving the Lord in the area’s that I had been before final yr of Uni and all the work that came with it meant that I couldn’t do those things. Final year came and has gone, and I need to again divert my energies into doing things for the Lord. My interests must take a back seat when the two collide … ‘he must increase’.

My daily prayer is now that the Lord would ‘restore unto me the joy of my Salvation’ and that He would give me a burden for souls and a desire to serve Him.